I Almost Killed Myself on May 19th


All year I have really been ignoring my mood. I have allowed myself bad days, but the worst days I would weather without trying to talk to anyone about them. I would simply ask a friend over and distract myself until I fell asleep.

I began self-harming in very small ways a few months ago to break the overwhelming depression and, for a time, it worked.

Today I went outside, listened to music, decided to kill myself, hugged my Mom goodbye and went into my room and was numb for hours. The reason I am typing this is because I was unable to say it on video or write it in a journal.

I have people constantly asking me if I am okay and I have been lying to all of them. There is a reason this semester was the worst one I ever had. There is a reason I…

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Legit or bust…

It always bothers me when people bash prognosticators and school officials, no matter the decisions made for safety’s sake as it applies to weather conditions. This is an excellent read.


I need to preface this post with this.  Anything that flows from my fingers onto this virtual parchment is my own opinion and is wholly separate from any opinion held by government agencies or school districts.

So, it appears as though we have folks moaning and groaning about another apparent “bust”.  I’m reading stuff like, “The SPC highlighted us and NOTHING HAPPENED.”  “Has the SPC lost it’s mind?”  Both of these statements – and similar beliefs held by others – are rooted in ignorance.  I’m willing to bet none of the offending principals realize what the SPC risk outlooks are or what they’re supposed to mean.  If they won’t take it upon themselves to learn, let me educate them.

The SPC outlooks are meant to describe what COULD happen given the atmospheric conditions present, not what WILL happen.  These outlooks are refined throughout the day in response to ever-changing atmospheric…

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AMBER Alert Update 6: Elizabeth Thomas

The Tennessee Bureau of Investigation has confirmed a sighting of the 15-year-old victim in an ongoing AMBER Alert, along with the 50-year-old man believed to have kidnapped her earlier this month.

Late Thursday, after receiving information from a tip, investigators obtained surveillance images from a Walmart on East I-240 Service Road in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma from the afternoon of March 15th, showing Tad Cummins and Elizabeth Thomas shopping at the store. Cummins used cash to purchase various food items, but did not purchase anything else of significance. The surveillance images of Cummins and Thomas – the first obtained by investigators since the alleged kidnapping on March 13th – clearly show Tad Cummins with an altered appearance to darken his hair. The same images show Elizabeth may currently have red hair. Efforts to determine what vehicle they were traveling in remain ongoing.

Thomas, 15, disappeared on Monday, March…

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What’s the point….

I’ve had an awful week.

I’ve been sick. I have ZERO friends so I can’t talk to anyone.  I can only cry out to God and He works in His timing, not mine, so my head tends to overrun with every bad thought of every bad thing, decision, and bad word sent my way.

I truly want to give up.  Even though I know this isn’t the answer to things and I am only speaking out of a weakened state, that is the consensus of how I feel.  Save for my youngest son, I don’t feel like anyone would really be upset if I was no longer around.  I feel like most people hate me and that my existence is unnecessary.  No one listens to me and if I was just out of the way then their lives would be easier because what little I do is unappreciated.

I’ve been told I contribute nothing to the household so much that I believe it.

I text people and I’m not worth being bothered with a reply.

I don’t understand the world and it doesn’t understand me.


I am so done with it all.


What to say…

What does one do when they feel the need to write something of significance, even if for one’s own posterity, but is sick of the 140-character hate-filled mindset of Twitter or the whiny repetitiveness of Facebook?  I guess that is where a Return to the Blog has to come back into one’s life.

I used to write daily in a blog.  Anyone remember the Yahoo 360 days?  Good times.  I wrote daily, diligently, and with purpose.  Then life got busier, 360 folded up, and the Microwave Mouthpieces of MySpace, Twitter, and Facebook took over.  Suddenly, there was no place for people like me.

For various reasons over the years, I have been run off Facebook a couple of times and MySpace became a non-factor.  As for Twitter, unless you are in a daily hashtag combat with what is making people angry at the moment, no one cares what someone who has less than 300 followers thinks.  Twitter, for now, is most useful to me in that I can get general local news, weather, and a few sports updates. Of course, I have found a few like-minded people, who only want to bring positive words and beautiful pictures to the masses, so there’s that.

I have tried restarting my blog several times.  I cannot stay consistent.  I know part of this is the fact I suffer nearly daily from migraines and I do have a hard time focusing.  HOWEVER, my boys are older now, and maybe I will have more time to write.  I am not sure what topics I will cover. I do have a variety of things that interest me. I enjoy photography, crafting, and actually trying projects I find on Pinterest.  I also enjoy a wonderful relationship with my LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Know that at the onset.

This page will be a little of everything, and a whole lot of Jesus.